Coffee minus sleep equals Memories

You are so beautiful.  You don't even fucking know it.  You don't even know what you mean to me...

MEMORIES: 

Cheney washington...

second grade-fourth grade...minus a small gap in third grade...

I remember...Andrew Richardson my best friend.  We would play soccer all day and chase the girls on the playground.  We were the cool kids.

I remember...playing basketball in the park...

I remember being the only kid who could bat both left handed and right handed in baseball games...

I remember diving for catches and feeling like a superstar...

I remember living in a RV park...in a tiny trailer...with my brother dan, my brother bill, my brother don, and my parents. I slept on a tiny couch/dining room.  It was cramped and cold in winter.  

I remember listening to my brothers sleep...because they were so close.

I remember getting food from the food bank and getting clothes from the free store.  I remember getting food stamps.  And I remember not caring...cuz we got tons of donuts from the food bank and i was a fat little kid.

I remember my brother working at a donut shop...and he would bring home the old donuts every single night.  So good.

I remember we would eat ice cream pretty much every night.  We wouldn't even scoop it out...We would slice it into sections...

......food memories........i was fat wasn't i?......

I remember living so close to my brother chris and my sister PJ and not getting to see them enough.

I remember one Christmas my parents said we didn't have stockings and we would have to put our actual socks up....well...not by the fireplace...cuz we lived in an RV...but we put them next to one of the cabinets   :)    I remember being so upset cuz my sock was dirty because we were constantly playing basketball or baseball...bleh.....In the morning I awoke to presents and fresh stockings...My parents had tricked us.  I love them for it.  I would love to go back and see the smile on my face.

I remember drawing...and loving it...I was an artist.  My parents loved it and would get me untensils and paper whenever they could.  It was my favorite thing to do.  They thought I would become an artist...i guess i have in some ways.

I remember jelly bean day at school at the end of the year.  All the kids would go through the school and do multiple activities earning jelly beans.  I would just stay at the basektball booth the whole day.  They eventually got tired of me stealing all of their jelly beans and made me leave...

I remember  riding around on shitty bikes and not caring....learning how to ride with no hands...and feeling free...and then falling on my ass and feeling...shitty

I remember getting those boxes of chocolates from school to sell for fund raisers...I went around the RV park trying to sell them...But of course nobody bought any...They all had no money.  They lived in a damn RV park.

I remember picking up bags of pinecones for the RV park owner with my brothers.  We got payed by the bag and we made some serious scratch.  We cheated though.  We would go off the property a little bit where there were hella pinecones.  We would get payed and go buy baseball cards and soda.

I remember getting pissed at Dan and Bill and throwing stuff at them.  Then I would get scared of hurting them...and then they would catch everything i threw at them...And then I would get pissed again...hehe

I remember the creeper neighbor that liked my sister

I remember the creeper neighbor who was always naked 

I remember Russ....hehe...the family will get that one...

I remember waking up every morning to the voice of my mom...It was the most relaxing thing in the world and I miss it so much.  She would come over to me and rub and scratch my back until I woke up...mommy

I remember...seeing my mom trip while coming out of the RV and being so scared for her.  I am connected with my mom in such a way...it's hard to describe...if i think of her ever being in pain...or if i see her in pain...it actually physically hurts me...it hurts...

I remember...my aunt patty and uncle george and grandpa Youdell coming up to visit...and I would tell them about my good grades because i wanted money.  

I remember...Uncle George always video taping.  What a smart man.  Capturing memories.  Life should always be video taped.  I can think of nothing more relaxing than sitting down with your family and watching your old selfs...uncle george...he knew what he was doing...and his memory is behind that tape...i love it.

i.............................................................remember